& sometimes.

And the venting starts now.
Sometimes I wonder when everyone will know my story  & the things that have happened to me. Sometimes I wonder if my family will ever look back and appretiate me for the things I've done. Sometimes I wonder if my trials will ever come to an end. Sometimes I wonder who are my friends? who can I really trust? Sometimes I hate the fact that everyone in my life has let me down at one time or another. Sometimes I feel weak. Sometimes all I want to do is quit. Sometimes I realize my motivation is nothing.And sometimes, I wonder when my turn will come, when I get to happy like everyone else.

old lovin.

It's true. I'm absolutely 100% no doubt about it, ecstatic to grow old.

I mean wrinkles and everything. I have always gotten so frustrated with men and women around the world trying so desperately to stay young. Why would you want to avoid such a wonderful thing? Or why when I ask the age of an adult, do I get the look as if I had just asked them their social security number? Your getting older, it's a blessing! I cannot wait for the day when my husband and I get wrinkles and gray hair, I truly think it's a beautiful thing and that you should embrace it as much as possible. But then again that's just me. But on this one, I think everyone else is crazy and I'm the only sane one.

brothers.

The more I hear people complain(facebook) the more I realize I have to be thankful for. Let me start off by saying what handsome boys I have in my life, and how happy I am that I get to spend my life with them. I love them to much more than words can express and all for different reasons.

Chad Merrill.

Chase Bennett.

Stuart Kent.

Mitchell Gregg.

lately.

I hate that I have not written forever. So I gotta get some stuff out.

well let's start with summer.

checklist

-spent every minute down south

-got to spend time with my mom

-learned some very valuable lessons

-came home

-immediately wanted to go back

- got back on schedule

-found out my dad is getting married

-getting 5 new brother and a sister.yay.

-decided to graduate at christmas

-now have to make the decision of where to live

So here I am. My therapist bailed a while back, so this will have to do for now.

Please don't think I write to let people know how exciting my life is... no. I do if for myself. And my sanity of course.

 

my paintings.

                                        Here are 3 of my favorite paintings of mine. They are all acrylic.
                                                   I kinda have a weird obsession with trees.

inspiration.

 The most purest and perfect relationships in my life.

Grandmothers.

Grandma Renne. Mother of 10 children and would give anyone the shirt off her back. She is the most giving women I have EVER  met. She is so giving she had a robber in her house and insisted that she make him a sandwich before he goes. She is so kind and sweet and I love our movie nights, of watching her utterly long black and white movies.

Grandma Jeanne. Born and raised in the south, she is the definition of a southern bell. She is always telling me miss you sugar, I want some Sugar. (sugar=a good loving on) I am 16 years old, and will go sit on her lap an love on her. She is my very best friend, she tells me everyday how special I am to her.

38 days.

 june 4th.

this is the blessed day i move to florida.

all by myself.

miss.jade.little.

if any of you have ever met jade little, or even been in the same room with her you are literally mesmerized by her looks and her smile/laugh. even if what she said was not funny i would laugh cause she was just so darn cute. jade took me camping with her family and that is where the beginning of our friendship began, we hung out everyday she came to my house and took bath's cause neither of us had a pool pass hahhah, she was addicted to sunflower seeds specifically dill pickle. she would come over and say to herself  "my hair is so greasy", and then put baby powder in it? i said jade why not just wash your hair? and by the time her hair was white from all the powder she looked at me and said yeah... so can i just hop in the shower?hahahaha i have so many funny memories with her. i love you jade. through all our fights and all our tears together and mostly all our laughs together. i will miss you loads.

R.I.P. Jade Allie Little 

4/10/11

fridays.

usually when you ask an average teenager what comes to mind when they think friday nights, they most likely think parties,friends, dates, movies, etc. not me. i hate that. i used to base my life off of friends and plans and what is the next biggest thing going on... but not anymore.i want to be alone.allot.and anytime i want to be with anyone they are my brothers.
this probably makes me sound like a total freak but i think im just now realizing what really matters.
for example tonight, a friday night and this is what i did;

-turned the heat high in my room and took a four hour nap.

-woke up, hiked the waterfall alone.

-got thai food take out with my dad.

-watched a movie with him.
-worked on my latest painting.

& this my friends is my kind of night.

friend.mentor.dad.hero.therapist.

so i'm new.

mckenziemaylott;
kenzie,kenz,babe,weirdo,maymay
just whateverfloatsyourboat.
i will cry if you make fun of BYU
i love art. mostly painting.
i love the gospel.
i have a bestfriend.
i want to grow old.
i love my family..
i hate shopping.
ilovesushi